By the time Daniel and I got a computer in our home, The Oregon Trail computer game was already a passing fancy. But one day, when I discovered it in my favorite store (Target) at a very discounted price, I felt like I struck gold. I was never able to convince my kids that it was a fun game to play. After they were in bed, I would spend hours trying to survive that dad-gummed Trail game. I figured I should be able to out-last and out-wit it, but I died a thousand dysentery deaths, never getting to the Oregon coast.
The Oregon Trail was a very real 2,100 mile wagon route from the Missouri River to the Willamette Valley in Oregon. From approximately 1835 to 1865 it was the most-used trail for American pioneer settlers, farmers, business owners and their families to go West in search of a better life. But it wasn't without its very real hazards.
As the game taught, you needed to have enough supplies (bedding, clothes, food, livestock, ammunition, etc.) to take you to the end. You couldn't get sick. You needed to keep your wagon and its wheels intact. Be an excellent marksman to bring home food, so don't waste shot. Ford a river at the right place. Survive snow storms and snake bites. And have friends nearby to help if you run into bad luck. Men might have looked at the risks as a challenge that comes with a possible economic reward at the end. For women, the Trail only offered harder work than what they had left behind. And according to many women's diaries and letters written during their Trail travel, there was concern for the many deaths encountered along the way.
There is a sweet young couple that attends our church and the husband is in the Christian band "For King and Country". The video of their new single had recently been released--called "Pioneers"--just as Daniel and I were starting to host "Marriage Monday" at our church this summer. It was a perfect way to end our 3-week marriage conference. (Below is For King and Country's music video "Pioneers" for your enjoyment.)
Pioneer comes from the 16th-century French word 'pionnier', meaning "foot soldier". The word 'pioneer' has come to mean "someone who goes before; preparing the way for others." When I watched their music video for the first time, I got it. In the context of marriage, a man and woman go before and prepare the way for others--very much like pioneers or settlers in a new land--pioneering a new life together. Learning about one another. How to get along. How to communicate. Navigating how to be a team when the challenges come. And when the wheels break and fall off the wagon, if not fixed with the right materials and tools, severe set-backs or even death may come to the pioneer marriage.
Most importantly, before pioneers began their arduous journey Westward, they secured a Trail Boss--a Guide--someone who knew the Trail and how to handle possible dangers. Daring to go it alone without a knowledgeable guide was foolhardy at best. Daniel brought "book-smarts" and I brought "street-smarts" (so to speak) to the marriage. Pulling together, we make a great team. But if I stubbornly discount his wise thoughts, or he doesn't heed my discerning counsel, our wagon can break down quickly. Daniel and I have a Trail Boss in our marriage - God. He has been a part of our 'three-cord strand' marriage who has held it together for over four decades. He is who we go to for directional support. We invited Him to be a part of our relationship from the beginning. We look to Him for guidance often. God knew what He was doing allowing us to pioneer life together. I can't imagine doing it without Him.
And as to the 'going-before-and-preparing-the-way-for-others' part of pioneering in our marriage: we were blessed with three children who have followed along the path we blazed. They watched us as we navigated along the Trail, whether it was sitting around the campfire, relaxing, telling stories and playing music or teaming together to cross brooks and rivers or seeing the awful outcome to stubborn disagreement about where to go next. They and their spouses have secured the same Trail Boss and are now pioneering their own marriages, together building a home and preparing the way for their children.
Wagons ho!